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Artificial Intelligence Now Able to Generate Believable Apologies:
Artificial intelligence can now simulate realistic public apologies, scandals, and global conflicts before lunchtime — raising questions about the future of truth, accountability, and Luxembourg.
U.S. Politicians Vow to Regulate AI:
In a display of legislative momentum and mild confusion, U.S. lawmakers commit to regulating artificial intelligence after a four-hour session devoted entirely to deciphering the acronym "AI."
Goblins Successfully Lobby for Orkish Inclusion:
After years of peaceful assimilation, goblins convince humans to welcome orks into their city—only for the orks to immediately massacre everyone, leaving goblins confused, unemployed, and very much on fire.
NASA Confirms:
NASA confirms Earth veered into a parallel timeline in 2012 after a cosmic miscalculation. The death of Harambe and the end of the Mayan calendar were quantum tipping points, scientists now claim.
Congressman’s Inner Demon Emerges During Speech:
During a routine House session, Representative Mark Flibberton's speech took a hellish detour as a soot-covered demon escaped his throat, exposing a deeply shared—and previously metaphorical—Congressional condition. What followed was not panic, but professional courtesy.
Workplaces Overrun by AI-Generated Motivational Posters:
AI-generated motivational posters have flooded offices with soul-crushing slogans, turning cubicles into dystopian galleries of corporate cheer.
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